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- ~Iffy~ @ StayAtHomeNation
- Hi, I'm Cameron (aka Iffy), a stay at home mother to 4 beautiful children. My family is my life! I am not crafty by nature....but I am learning =D I will share my experiences with you(good & bad) with crafts, DIY, cooking, and life. I say what's on my mind, and remain honest, it's just who I am. Love it or leave it =D So follow me and see my progress as I document my journey, and If All Else Fails....at least you have gained a friend and gotten some great tips or maybe learned something new along the way!
Friday, June 7, 2013
Guest Post ~ Parenting: Stay Consistent and Avoid Gray Areas
Good morning, today I would like to welcome Jenny Daniels as a first time guest blogger
on Stay At Home Nation.
Deciding what is black and white for your family is crucial in avoiding messy gray areas. For example, when will you stop breastfeeding? At what age will the binky go?
We have all seen the parent that is afraid to let go, change is inevitable and should be embraced. Just be prepared for the upcoming changes and stick to your guns. The most important thing your children need to see is consistency. No means no and there shouldn't be a temper tantrum that changes that.
Discuss parenting regularly with your partner; often there will need to be a middle ground. If mom wants bedtime at 8 and dad thinks 9 is appropriate, go with 8:30. If Sarah sees that you are not on the same page as dad, she will learn how to manipulate the situation in her favor.
This may seem like simple advice, but often children look at one parent as the disciplinarian and the other as the nurturer. It is great to have these roles, but it is important that the one who nurtures stands behind the disciplinarian. This is not only for the best benefit of little Sarah, but for your relationship with your spouse as well.
Just as one parent is seen more as the disciplinarian, one is seen as more frugal than the other. It is natural to be attracted to an opposite; otherwise there would be no balance in the world. But teaching Sarah how to handle money is important and finding boundaries with your hubby can help your child to appreciate the value of a dollar. Something as simple as implementing a house rule that nothing extra can be bought without a coupon.
This may seem extremely ridiculous, but kids look for stability and consistency, this goes down to every little detail and if they see a break in patterns they will learn how to work you and this will result in children who have no solid direction.
Being on the same page cannot always be planned for. There are situations that will arise that you never expected. In moments like this, don't make rash decisions. Talk it over with your spouse and come up with a common solution.
An example we recently faced revolved around some holiday shopping. Sarah is now 14 and interested in the tradition of Black Friday shopping with her friends. Men may not understand this, but shopping for deals on Black Friday are sort of a coming of age tradition in our home that isn't unlike your first concert or your first trip around the parking lot in dad's car. However, this particular "want" was met with some resistance from my husband. He thinks the crowds, the long lines and the utter pandemonium of Black Friday make the trip a hassle and a safety concern. Sarah gets a sort of "Black Friday party" that involves her friends, their laptops and some great online deals. We get the satisfaction that they're safe, and in a controlled environment. Everyone wins.
Whatever your parenting style is, I am sure you have been thinking about it since long before children entered your life. Things may have to be altered in order to stay on track with your hubby. Be open to his ideas, as there is not one right and one wrong.
Thank you Jenny for your parenting advice.
Much Love
~Iffy~
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